Grief + Euphoria = Fragments

43rd Poem: Exorcism

2011-11-05T13:36:00.004+07:00

Exorcism

Tell me that you hate me.
So we can be free,
of this cliched chain
Tell me that you hate me
So i can hate you,
And you i.

---

Be free of mine
Off you go
Flee and fly
Seek your princess
For i am not.

---

A mere figment of delusion
A bewitching beldame
An ugly truth spun in sugary lies
i am never ‘i’ of yours

---

Let me be alone
Within my fortress
Behind the walls
With all the mannequins
For i am content

---

A tired mind,
A battered heart
No longer stranger to aches
Yet, never need another holes

---

Tell me that you hate me
So i may exorcise you
a foolish blind prince
Who seeks the princess
But never i.

-End-
(dedicated to those princes)

***

Disappointed.

42nd Poem: My Hatred

2011-11-05T13:35:00.001+07:00

My Hatred

May i laugh,
In your funeral?

May i smile,
When i stab you?

May i dance,
When i hurt you?

May i cheer,
When you lay broken?

May i applaud
When you bleed?

May i kill you?
So we are free.

-End-
(dedicated to those who make my heart weary)

***

Black mood attacks.

41st Poem: Friends Are For

2011-07-08T14:19:00.004+07:00

Friends Are for

What would I do if

I had a million dollars,

I had a phone,

I had a computer,

I had a car,

I had an island,

We would shop till drop

I would call you every day

I would spam your email inbox

We would drive around the world

We would sunbath upon its sand

Because without you,

Dollars are papers to be burnt

Phone is a nuisance ring

Computer is a stupid machine

Car is a nature’s enemy

Island is a lonely place

Hence,

Shop and grin with me,

Chat and giggle with me,

Text and smile with me,

Drive and laugh with me,

Lounge and relax with me

For you are my friend and you brighten up my life.

~End~

(Dedicated to all my friends and especially Adit, whom I owe for giving me the inspiration ;D)

***

Late night discussion about being happy and happiness in life had made me thought and thought and think. Hence, viola! This is what I define as my happiness. Well at least part of what I think why I am happy or why I can say that I am happy in my life even if I am not working in what my passion at.

If you want to analyze of the lyrics and why I mentions those items then I can only say that I was inspired by the ironic of they who have money but are unhappy, they who have phones/cell phones/smart phones but still sulk, they who have computers/laptops but are heart broken by the distance, they who have cars but have no where to go, they who have the world but decide to be suicidal.

I do pity the money, the phones/cell phones/smart phones, the computers/laptops, the cars and the whole richness. Perhaps they can donate them to me? ;D

Oh well, happy reading ;P

PS: Honorary mentions are:

1. Hanna ~ my usual partner in crime for dressing up, killing zombies, whacking moles, shopping spree, ice cream binge, crying over tragedies plot, squee-ing over cute guys and BL thingie, etc etc, too many to be listed! XD

2. Ario ~ my very first pregnant male friend, has a seriously unique voice that is addicting and has a very nice fashion sense. Not to mention quite the fashion police/editor XD

3. Adit ~ the source of inspiration of this piece. One who I dub as a guy as cool as cucumber XD

4. Fel ~ a very patient childhood/best friend whom I have shopping and eating spree with ;D

5. Pris ~ the infamous 'someone somewhere across the ocean' among my circle of friends whom I role play with in creating porns ;D

6. Bim ~ this one mostly aggravates me but he kinda grows on you ;P

7. Ninu ~ the one who we still owe ourselves the nice spa time! ;P

8. Eric ~ my arch nemesis during school time and my sparring partner in debating the origin of human existence including my partner in crime in writing poems =]

9. WeP ~ one's boy toy to be teased around

10. Etc Etc..., for those who are not mentioned, please don't feel offended...I really do have short term memories -.-;

40th Poem: Goodbye, My Dear

2011-06-29T23:20:00.003+07:00

Goodbye, My Dear

Dearest, my sunflower,

This may be the last,

For I am no longer your sun

I, a mere moon, shadowed always by your sun,

Has been defeated and broken.

No longer your champion.

Dearest,

You are not mine anymore,

Never that you are ever mine,

But now I can only dream of you

Missing your bright joyous smile,

Yearning for your melodic laughter,

Grasping upon tendrils of your love.

Yet, you are a sunflower

Who needs the sun for your life

Who needs his love to grow

Who needs his light to shine

So, dearest,

Let me have a fraction of your smile

So I can dream of your beauty

Let me have a record of your laughter

A remembrance of your warmth

Let me have a memory of your kiss

So I can last the eternity

Let me have a drop of your tears

So I can fare you well.

For this is a goodbye.

And I will always be your moon.

~End~

(dedicated to my sunflower who has found her sun, my best wishes to you both)

***

Well...this is the second version and actually I am still unsatisfied since these pieces come out different from what I was thinking back when I was driving back to my home. Blekh!

Anyway, still happy reading and happy heartbroken.

39th Poem: About Saying A Goodbye

2011-06-29T23:13:00.005+07:00

About Saying A Goodbye

Dear my sunflower,

Hello,

How do you do?

I wish you are well.

Do you remember me?

The moon who adores you so

I, who miss your smile, your laughter

I, who love you from afar.

Alas I hear,

You have found your sun

One who will adore you, nurture you

and love you.

Whom,

Your lips will sing for

Your eyes will sight upon

Your soul will call for

Your heart will beat for

Perhaps, this will be my last letter

From me to you,

Because,

For your smile is not mine anymore

For your laughter is only for him

For your song is whispered for him

For your heart is not mine and never mine.

You who I cannot touch, cannot hold

You who I can only see, I can only love

So,

Here I am,

Shadowed by the sun

Alone in my cold throne

Devoid of your smile

Betrayed of your love

Shunned by my sorrow

Hiding,

Weeping,

Wailing,

Grieving,

Oh, dearest,

How I wish I was your only sun

So I can have your love

And your soul will sing only for mine

But, my love,

You deserve your sun, your love and your world.

So I can only wish you your happiness

From this far throne of mine,

I wish only for your love, your happiness and your laughter.

So I pray for your joy and your love for him.

Be happy, dearest.

You will always be in my heart, my sunflower.

~End~

(Dedicated to my sunflower who already found her sun)

***

Well...this is a literally as I write and I get kind of heartbroken. Strange thing is that I am the one who matchmake them -.-;;

Oh well happy reading and happy heartbroken.

38th Poem: Dear Mister (2nd Version)

2011-03-15T22:17:00.004+07:00

Dear Mister

Dear Mister,

I remember of our first meet, of our flower seeds, one that you had especially planted for me.

I remember of our first letters, of the awkward and hopeful lines of letters you wrote that day, the day when you said your love.

I remember of our first time together, watering the plant and spending days together side by side.

I remember of our first kiss when we love each other, when we became one.

I remember of your sweet whisper, spoken of love promised in eternity.

I remember of our smiles, our laughs and our kisses.

I remember of our love.

Dear Mister,

I remember of that day when I waited.

I remember of a windy day when I was alone.

I remember of nights spent alone and cold.

I remember of our plants grew steadily, anchoring my faith, my love

I remember of the first bud, so delicate yet so hopeful

I remember of the first flower, a white rose, pristine pure white.

Dear Mister,

I remember of loud noises, ticking clocks, deafening boom, screeching wails

I remember of dust blown, ashes burnt and tears wept.

I remember of the heavy rain, drizzle becomes pouring shower.

I remember of the hardship endured by my heart, by our plant in harsh weather

I remember of the thunder and the fire.

I remember of our plants...withered...

Dear Mister,

I remember of us.

I remember of the pure white rose.

I remember of you.

I remember of the spilled blood.

I remember of love.

I remember of the exhilarating passion

I remember of what I was

I think of a red rose...

Dear Mister,

Love me, please...? Even if I am no more our pristine white rose.

Dear beloved,

You are my chaste red rose, my love.

~End~

(Dedicated to Honda Kiku, Japan, in APH-DJ, ' Haikei, Ogenki Desu ka')

***

Oo~okay, this is the 2nd version after I sort out my thought much clearer and well...basically it is still the same, just a bit longer and more descriptive. So... happy reading ^.^

PS: I like this version better actually -.-;

37th Poem: Dear Mister

2011-03-15T21:32:00.007+07:00

Dear Mister

Dear Mister,

Hello

Dear Mister,

Do come again

Dear Mister,

Thank you.

Dear Mister,

...please...

Dear Mister,

I love you

Dear Mister,

Love you

Dear Mister,

Miss you so much

Dear Mister,

Where?

Dear Mister,

Love me...? Miss me...?

Dear Mister,

...

Dear Mister,

Please...?

Dear Mister,

Come back, please?

Dear Mister,

Love me...

Dear Mister,

...

Dear beloved,

I’m sorry – Mister.

~End~

(Dedicated to Honda Kiku, Japan in APH-DJ, Haikei, Ogenki Desu ka)

***

Another weird poem inspired by the latest APH doujinshi that starred UK and Japan. One of the quite rare pairing but in that doujin they are really lovely and bittersweet, especially Japan. So I recommend you guys to go and read it.

Happy reading ^.^

36th Poem: Words of Cliche Love~e

2011-02-22T13:02:00.007+07:00

A Collection of the Sappiest and the Most Cliche Sentences of Love

There are days when we are far apart but know this, that you are always in my heart as I always love you.

If you were a sun then I would be the earth for you are my revolution.

If there is a lock to my heart then your heart is the key.

My love for you is like the number of pi which is infinite.

Law cannot arrest me because I am addicted only to you, not cocaine.

Who says I need doctors and medicines? I only need your hugs and love.

An apple a day keeps me healthy but a smile of yours every minutes keep me alive.

Forever is indefinite time but for me, forever is my time with you.

I wish I could be the air you breathe but I cannot, so will you let me be your beloved?

What is a rose but a flower with a name? But to me, love is us.

I adore you like a sunflower worships his sun.

Never doubt my love even in a gloomy rainy day because afterward out love will shine like a sparkling rainbow.

Even when we are apart, my heart beats only for you.

Mirror, mirror, who is the most beloved one? To me, you are.

~End~

***

Cliche-est of the most cliche. But I think that is what love is. Happy belated valentine's day!

PS: Have fun to use these sentences but please credits them to me and please, no misusing them ^.^

Just An Image...

2011-01-15T11:04:00.003+07:00

***

Seriously I just need this post so I can post this image on my lj comment...so well...it's not safe for your eyes. Anyway...do enjoy if this is your secret fetish too ;P

35th Poem: Mimpi Bidadari

2010-06-13T23:59:00.003+07:00

Mimpi Bidadari

Bidadariku,

Semilir angin sepoi – sepoi di pagi hari
Mendendangkan melodi tawa riangmu
Bagai lantunan lagu sopran nan merdu

Kulihat sosokmu berdiri di tengah lapang
Di hamparan padang ilalang matahari
Semburat oranye di antara taburan zamrud

Hitam rambutmu antara belaian jerami
Melambai memanggilku, bagaikan hipnosis
Ku melangkah, seakan haus akan oasis.

Kulihat bibir mungilmu merekah indah
Tersenyum manis semanis madu pagi
Matahari dan ilalang pun serta tertawa

Barisan gigi putihmu membingkai indah
Memanggil namaku bagaikan litani pujian
Menyambut panggilan hati dan jiwaku

Wahai belahan jiwaku,
Kaulah bidadariku,
Cantik tak terperikan
Lembut bagaikan sutra,

Ingin bibirku mengecupmu,
Ingin lenganku mendekapmu,
Ingin jantungku berdegup untukmu,
Ingin jiwaku melebur bersama hatimu,

Wahai bidadariku,
Nafasku tlah jadi milikmu,
Tetes darahku hanya untukmu,
Kaulah tuan bagi jiwa ragaku,
Takkan lagi kuberpaling,

Ah, tapi…
Matahari tak lagi bersinar,
Angin tlah berhembus jauh,
Padang ilalang tlah kering,
Jalinan jerami pun hangus,
Tidak lagi ada hidup

Tidak ada engkau,
Hanya padang kosong,
Yang kulihat hampa.

Bidadariku,
Tiada bayangmu,
Sunyi senyap tawamu,
Tersisa pahit tanpa senyum,
Hilang sudah sosokmu,

Ke manakah engkau?
Sekedar ilusikah engkau?
Mimpikah aku selama ini?

Bidadariku.
(Poem is dedicated to all dreamer who dreams about a perfect romance but just a dreamer)

***

Another version of "Bidadari" that I've written just now. Why this one? Because I'm a realist (read: pessimist) who never believes it will happen. Anyway, I wish of her, I dream of her, I long for her but still she is far away from my reach and perhaps it shall even never happen.

Happy reading!

PS: another poem in Indonesian... really it just comes out from my mind like that! ^^;

34th Poem: Bidadari

2010-06-13T23:49:00.002+07:00

Bidadari

Bidadariku,

Semilir angin sepoi – sepoi di pagi hari
Mendendangkan melodi tawa riangmu
Bagai lantunan lagu sopran nan merdu

Kulihat sosokmu berdiri di tengah lapang
Di hamparan padang ilalang matahari
Semburat oranye di antara taburan zamrud

Hitam rambutmu antara belaian jerami
Melambai memanggilku, bagaikan hipnosis
Ku melangkah, seakan haus akan oasis.

Kulihat bibir mungilmu merekah indah
Tersenyum manis semanis madu pagi
Matahari dan ilalang pun serta tertawa

Barisan gigi putihmu membingkai indah
Memanggil namaku bagaikan litani pujian
Menyambut panggilan hati dan jiwaku

Wahai belahan jiwaku,
Kaulah bidadariku,
Cantik tak terperikan
Lembut bagaikan sutra,

Ingin bibirku mengecupmu,
Ingin lenganku mendekapmu,
Ingin jantungku berdegup untukmu,
Ingin jiwaku melebur bersama hatimu,

Wahai bidadariku,
Nafasku tlah jadi milikmu,
Tetes darahku hanya untukmu,
Kaulah tuan bagi jiwa ragaku,
Takkan lagi kuberpaling.

~End~
(Poem is dedicated to the owner of my heart, my soulmate)

***

Long time with no updates. Well, time has been unkind to me and being a med student really drains my mood. Anyway, this poem is really...just appear all out of nowhere like *POOF* there!

It is inspired by my own hallucination after a stressing day, that I kind of met my soulmate. A beautiful girl with a long black hair, dressed in an orange sundress with a straw hat, standing in the middle of sunflower field and smiling up to me. The sun is not too high at late morning, clear blue sky, white puffy clouds and windy day. All in all is just a romantic painting/hallucination.

I kind of wish one day I can have that image.

Oh well, happy reading!

PS: first time writing in Indonesian. I hope I don't butcher up the whole poem -.-;

33rd Poem: Love

2010-02-05T22:05:00.003+07:00

Love

Love is simple, almost absurdly simple.

Never it demands anything but devotion
Never it complains anything but adoration
Never it judges anything but affection
Never it rules anything but compassion
Never it condemns anything but love.

Love is, a simplicity in itself,
Because love is what heart made of.

Yet,
Humans are governed not only of heart,
But also reigns upon rational mind,
Whereas heart is love, rational mind is logic.

Hence, never love is absurdly simple anymore.

Never it allows anything but wealth
Never it silences anything but rules
Never it frees anything but gender
Never it consents anything but morale
Never it absolves anything but hatred.

Thus, should ever love be simple enough?
Should it be, as absurdly simple as what love is,
I shall love you as I shall love her too.

~End~
(Dedicated to my dearest friend upon whom his trust of love is ever so down low that it is an injustice in itself)

***

Long time no see. Well,the weather makes me contemplates almost everything and the mood that my dearest friend has infected me surely did nothing to improve my mood as my mind wander on what love is really.

To him: please note that if love is as simple as you think about and as simple as I wish about, then you would be already happy with her.

Life is a bitch. Love is never simple but do hang on there. Love will eventually come to you.

To my readers: happy reading!

32nd Poem: Adoration (Short 2nd Version)

2009-11-12T23:17:00.006+07:00

O dearest sunflower of mine,

You are so beautiful, so vibrant,

Oh how I adore your lips as you smile

Oh how I cherish your voice as you laugh

Oh how I worship your vigour as you praise your lord.

Yet, who I am but a mere moon who wish to have your love?

One who can only dream of your smile,

One who can only imagine your laughter,

One who can only fantasize of having you as mine.

O dearest sunflower of mine,

Would you please for once, look not to your lord, but me?

The moon who has imprisoned himself upon your very heart.

~End~

***

The second version, shorter, briefer and much more straight-forward. Whichever you like them the best, I just hope you enjoy reading these!

Happy reading!

31st Poem: Adoration

2009-11-12T23:05:00.005+07:00

Dearest my beloved, these are my letters for you,

Showing of how bright your smile is, lighting up the spirit of the old weary Earth

Voicing of how melodious your laughter is, mingling with the chatters of butterflies

Depicting of how graceful you dance is, weaving along with the jazzy wind's rhythm

So vibrant, so full of life, oh very much so beautiful

You are my spring of oasis in this barren desert of emptiness

You are my source of warmth among this biting coldness

You are my only light in this lonely punishing darkness

So alive, so ardent and very much so cheerful.

Hence, I am jealous of your lord,

The way you worship him with your lips.

The way you adore him with your eyes

The way you praise him with your limbs.

Oh how I am jealous of him.

Fading beside the dazzling rays of your lord's flame

Hidden among the festive clouds of your lord's sky

Shielded behind the glorious nether of your lord's throne,

Like an unsought guest in a gala.

Seeing, stalking,

Trailing, thinking,

Of you from afar.

Thus, dearest sunflower of mine,

Would you please smile for me?

Would you please sing for me?

Would you please dance with me?

I, who has always cherished you from the lone throne of the moon.

~End~

***

This poem is dedicated to my sunflower and well...let's just say I am kind of in a strange mood, not to mention that these days are rainy days thus, it does not really help my strange mood here. Anyway, it can be caused by the fact that I am currently abusing my mp3 player for playing Taylor Swift's Love Story over and over.

Anyway, happy reading and enjoy!

PS: I know it's been ages since I last updated my blog here -.-;

30th Poem: Through A Lens

2008-04-27T21:19:00.003+07:00

Through A Lens

Who do you see behind the lens of your other lens,
when you adjust the diaphragm’s circumference,
not of your irises but of it, where you crouch in position
as how you aim and take a shoot out of the moment,
of why you press on the shutter for a fragment of eternity,
which is burnt on the layer of the retinas as it falls on the centre?

Thus, what do you see upon whom are in front of you?

~End~
(dedicated to David, the photographer who triggered my brain cells as he took my pictures)

***

Another dedication poem! It's a thank-you-poem for the generous photographer who took my pictures and thanks to him that I'm developing a certain fetish toward my own self. Not to mention, those wonderful pictures do pump up my narcissistism level. Hahaha ;P

As you can see, this poem still has the style of 5W1H which consists of what, who, when, where, why and how. Dunno why but this basic style of 5W1H is just the easiest to write when I need to create a poem under than 5 minutes. Futhermore, I'm actually comparing the camera to the eyes of the photographer, that is the whole thought of the poem.
Therefore, sorry, for those who does not understand the anatomical terms for human eye.

However, it's only one of the versiosn that I've already written. This one turns out unsatisfying for me and my mind. Perhaps I'll write another one in this coming week. So, yup, this is only the first version. I'll try to write another version of this theme. Hope the second version can do some justice.

Anyway, happy reading and enjoy!

29th Poem: Dear Diary, for My Wish

2008-03-06T09:27:00.003+07:00

Dear Diary, for My Wish

I wish I could just live with just my yaoi, with my laptop, with my coffee, with my tea and just with myself alone

I wish my mind could stop thinking about my pain, about my loneliness, about the betrayals, and about you, you and you.

My joints ache, my head aches as my heart aches whlist beating against my aching ribs.

I wish I could just sleep and never awake
I wish I could just leave and never return
I wish I could just be alone and content

Because I am tired of your silence, of your absences, of your excuses and of waiting you
Because I am tired of thinking and thinking about you, you and you again.

You who keep upsetting me, hurting me, betraying me and leaving me all alone with just my mind and my thoughts.

You leave nothing but pain in my heart
You give nothing but cold in my wake
You say nothing but lies in my mind
You keep nothing but tiring me in my life

So let the lullaby sing me to sleep

For I am sick of you and because of you as you matter me not but you, you and always you

Never me or me and me.

So leave me alone and let me sleep.

~End~
(dedicated to all who are disappointed by their lovers, their spouses, their boy/girlfriends, their best friends and their friends)

***

I'm tired and I'm just tired of thinking as I slept in agony last night, so this poem was created.

Yeah I am so very disappointed and I hope those bastards are happy while I am suffering here.

Anyway, I am grumpy and I am cranky so well just read and drop the comments if you feel like it but save your pities. Apparently my jovial metre has already broken down and the sugar-happy-dovey injection has long ago run out of my body's system.

Happy reading!

28th Poem: Sing Me A Lullaby

2008-01-19T00:12:00.000+07:00

Sing Me A Lullaby

It is a dark night,
A night of new moon
A dull starless night
Naked pitch black sky

In a dark room I lay
No sound but a ticking clock
No one but me and my ghosts
A living nightmare of mine

And still awake I am
Drown by my sorrow
Haunted by my griefs
Conscious of my guilts

I long for my sleep
I miss my own sleep
Yet my eyes betray me
While my ears trick me
Seeing nothing but everything
Hearing everything but nothing

So where are you,
Oh my slumber fairy?

Sing me a lullaby
Lull me to my slumber
Away from these terrors

Where are you, oh fairy?
Sing me a lullalby
Sing me a lullaby,
Please?

-End-
(dedicated to all insomnia people caused by stress and too much thinking)

***

Well, okay long time no new posts and here we go, another depressing poem >.< oh well I am depressed coz of my grade. This poem was written as I lay on my bed and thinking about my grade and started depressing over it and is still depressing over it until now. Not to mention I get a bad case of insomnia too these days.

About the lullaby...I wish for someone to sing me one but there is none so I have to make do with a mere mp3 player of mine -.-;

Happy reading!

27th Poem: I Need You Series

2007-12-17T01:08:00.000+07:00

I Need You

1st
I need you like I need my dosage of yaoi
Exhilaratingly inspiring and sinfully addicting
Never it’ll be enough of it.
Keep seeking it anytime, anywhere, anyhow
Even without it, my mind’ll create words and imaginations
A ceaseless craving as well as bottomless urge
Always there inside my mind
Such is my need of you!

2nd
I need you like I need my dosage of caffeine
Be it coffee or tea
Soothingly warm and fragrantly addictive.
A complementing friend in rainy, sunny, windy or cloudy days
A nice quiet company during my headache days
A constant craving of mine like current flows under the bridge
Such is my need of you!

3rd
I need you like I need my dosage of shopping
Invigoratingly fun and simply adventurous!
It’ll be anytime, anywhere, anyhow no matter what, where or when
Either as a reward for my happiness or a balm for my frustration
Always there for my soul, in joy or in despair
Such is my need of you!

~End?~
(Dedicated to Hanna, Al and Fel consecutively)

***

Okay another poem spamming after a short break hehehe ;P just feeling inspired these days, despite of me needing to study for my exam >.< Anyway, thought it's common for people to say, "I love you so that I need your love likewise I need air to breathe and to live", yet for me...it's just cliche and well sadly enough, my love is not as passionate as that and I can't lie. Love like that sentence is just not cut for me and I don't think I'll be able to love someone like that. Yet I still care and still love them (those three up there) to a certain degree that I even need them!

Hence, that poems are written hehehe ;P strange comparison than the usual one that people use yet feel those comparisons are more valueable as no one will compare it like those or like me. Those items up there really fill my life, not whole but yeah they are there in my life. So I guess it's nice enough eh? Personal, valuable, unique tho bordering strange hahaha ;P

Happy reading!

PS: Do you know? Each poem has the exact 55 words!

26th Poem: Sunflower

2007-11-16T20:15:00.000+07:00

Sunflower

Dear our sunflower,
These days are rainy days,
Often as such the sun is hiding,
Behind those grey clouds,
Hung upon the sky.

That, we comprehend as much.

Yet, our sunflower, dearest of ours,
Stand forth upon these rains!
Weep thee does not!

For these days shall pass,
And sun shall once again,
Dances merrily upon thee,
Blesses thee with its rays!

However, sunflower of ours,
Should the sun shall not shine,
shunning thee of its warmth,
and betraying thee of its bright,
then, even then,
never shed thy tears!

It shall do no justice for thee,
As the sunflower thee is,
Thee should be bright and merry!
Even as sunless as thee would be!

Stand forth and be upstanding,
For not alone shall thee be,
Soil shall still be firm upon your root,
As the leaves hug onto your stem,
While the bees shall always exalt thy flower!

Never shun your face nor your smile!
Look for those of us who still adore you so!

Thus, our dearest sunflower of ours,
Stand bright and smile!
You are our joy as well as we yours,
And swear we shall that,
Should the sun betray you,
You are still our sunflower and
Found a new sun you shall,
Who shall cherish and nourish you so!

`End`
(Dedicated to our sunflower, Hanna who are weeping these past few days)

***

Okay, this is another poem of mine that, well, dedicated to Hanna, the sunflower of our little liason which now consists of 4 people! It's, well...actually, she's not weeping but she is more like burdened by a problem. A problem which I too had faced twice!

The poem is triggered after I had read her poem that told so much about her hurting that well...very similar to my own when I was facing the same problem likewise her. It's kind of like a dejavu of some sort! Thus, I wish this poem may encourage her that she's not alone in this path!

Anyway, happy reading!

25th Poem: Mourning and Burial

2007-11-15T13:53:00.000+07:00

Mourning and Burial

Today I bury my best friends
Dead they are already
Not in flesh nor blood
But in mind and heart

Memories fade
Laughters perish
Joy vanishes
Faith shattered

So today I wear black
Mourning for them, I am
Not in cemetery nor grave
But in mind and heart

Death by,
A sword never pierce
A dagger never stab
But words ever said

Sheathed in rage
Bestowed of anger
Cut sharper and deeper

A foe even deadlier than blade

Thus, dead they are.
By me, because of me
A killer I am

A pang of regret not much enough
Too much joy and relief to be sorry
Breathing I am at last and free finally

So am I the killer?
A murderer in disguise?
To kill and to grieve
To slay and to cheer
For my freedom, never theirs

Yet for now, I am both
A griever and a killer

Until the next to be
Buried, killed and mourned!
My best friend or my victim?

-Ende-
(dedicated to my dead best friends)

***
This poem is triggered as I browse through my photos of the past and I just remembered the past. They are such good memories upon one's mind, thus I decided to make a tribute, even though the tribute does not speak for happiness but more of bitterness and sadness. Oh well...all in all they are in good memories and I do hope this poem does some justice!

Happy reading!

24th Poem: Diary of The Death

2007-11-15T13:02:00.000+07:00

Diary of The Death

March, 29th 2007
Greetings.
No.
Disconnected.
...

April, 2nd 2007
Hello?
...
Sorry?
...

April, 12th 2007
Sorry.
...

April, 14th 2007
...
Die!

May, 9th 2007
...
Bye.

May, 11th 2007
Aa.
...

September, 12th 2007
Why can’t you?
Busy.
...
Sorry.
Never ever again!

September, 27th 2007
Hello?
...
Okay?
...

October, 30th 2007
Hi.
...

Ended.
Disconnected.
Died.
Buried.

Le Fin
(Dedicated to my lost best friends)

***

Well, long time no see and here I am and my latest poem! This poem has its brother and I'll upload it soon!

The dates are important though I doubt I remember the dates correctly, so far they are just guesses upon my faltering memories. So do frogive me those who know exactly the dates that I am writing about! However, any complaints and comments upon writing the wrong dates will not be responded and nothing shall be changed for what I have written shall be written as such!

Happy reading!

23rd Poem: Blue Sky (A 5-Mins Poem Challenge)

2007-09-13T10:37:00.000+07:00

Blue Sky

A sky of blue
beautifully cold
silently alluring
alone in its coldness
May it cry
tears frozen in sorrow
Never smile nor laugh
Looking up wistfully
waiting in eternal solitude

For Moon...

~End~

***

Well a short poem for 5 mins poem challange during the last act of the play of Kaguya-Hime Monogatari. I'm spamming my own blog hahaha ;P oh well though it's too short and I know it's not too clear but it's a pity to just delete this poem so here you go...another poem! Happy reading!

22nd Poem: A Lament of Lovers by Liem

2007-09-13T10:22:00.000+07:00

A Lament of Lovers by Liem

Takayuki:
"As I look up to the sky
Falling sadness cyrstallized into pure white snow
There is no much time left for me
before this immortal soul disappears
I wish upon this last wish
Once again...
I want to hold you..."

Kaguya:
"As I gaze down to the Earth
A lonely wait shines like brilliant moon light
There is too much time spared for me
before my tender light fades away
I wish upon this last wish
Once again...
I want to hold you..."

~End~
Special dedication for all Kaguya-Hime Monogatari crews and for the real Takayuki and the Moon out there

***

Not a poem of mine. This poem is written by my friend, Liem. We both were awe-inspired while watching the play of Kaguya-Hime Monogatari thus both of us wrote poems dedicated to all the play's crews. This poem is more or less similar to the original one, I only edit it a bit but the edits are not changing the poem, just smoothing the flow.

Takayuki is the male protagonist of the play. He is a simple ordinary human yet he falls in love with Kaguya, the Moon Princess who shall return to the Moon once she reach the age of 17 or is it 18, I forgot but she definitely will return to where she belongs, the Moon. Their love is so strong but the fate is stronger thus, never they be together, not even in deaths. Sad...

Oh well happy reading!

21st Poem: A Tale of The Moon and A Human (Kaguya-Hime Monogatari from The Other Side of View)

2007-09-06T09:31:00.000+07:00

A Tale of The Moon and A Human
(Kaguya-Hime Monogatari from The Other Side of View)

And so the prince says,
“Beauty is a deliciously beautiful dish.”

Another says,
“Beauty is an antique collection, a parade of fete.”

While other prince says,
“Beauty is preservation of pride and conceit, flaunting praises.”

Then the last prince also says,
“Beauty is gold as gold create beauty and gold-made beauty never corrode.”

Yet the Moon Empress says,
“It is never beauty, the Moon wishes upon
  It is love that she wishes upon
  A pray in deafening silence.”

The Moon Emperor barks,
“A Moon is the moon herself!
  How may such human have her?
  A hand never large enough to grasp her
  A height never tall enough to reach her.
  Foolish only the heart!”

The wise goddess only states,
“Like a shadow inside a mirror
  Look you may, yet never shall you touch it.”

The roaring giant of demon adds,
“Nay swords may pierce its cage,
  Broken it shall yet shattered it shall too
  Then it’s yer lose ye human.”

The cold pale goddess of snowing mountain explains,
“A cage delicately woven
  Around barren heart likewise tundra
  Frozen in its captive and solitude
  Shackled by the mistress of Fate
  Cruel, cold, merciless.”

While the priest concludes,
“So where is your happiness?
  Are you happy of what you seek?
  An empty bowl of gold,
  A beauty encased shell
  Loveless and soulless.”

The Grandpa sighs and says,
“Yet met we have, laughed we have
  Memories shall last forever
  Truly a sacrifice worth of living.”

The festive dancers shouts,
“Memories of merry!
  Remembrance of joy!
  We dance and we sway!”

Yet the Grandma still cries,
“But they are mere memories
  Untouchable hence shall fade
  Unreachable thus shall lost
  A burden to bear within each breath.”

The human retaliates,
“Is it a sin to love?
  Is it a sin to be a mere human?
  Is it a sin for human to wish upon love?”

The Moon sadly sobs,
“Is it a fault of the Moon?
  Is it wrong to be loved?
  Is it too much to ask of love?”

And yet even afterall arguments, the Fate says nothing.
It never loves nor hates
It keeps still and silent
A human is a human
A moon is a moon
Thus, Fate knows, it is rightfully just.

~End~
(special dedication for all Kaguya-Hime Monogatari's crews)
(dedicated to all separated by fate lover and to the moon and all humans who adore the moon)

***
Hmm...about this poem...well I just basically summarize what I had seen and inserting few of my thoughts upon each characters. Those characters up there are well basically all the characters that appeared in the play. What's more? Hmm...can't think anymore so well happy reading and please comments! Enough of my blabbering already hehehe ;P

Oo~okay, another poem of mine published. This poem is inspired by a play that I watched yesterday at my campus. The play is about Princess Kaguya, a famous Japan folk tale. The play is a tragedy, it has no happy ending and I think I do have a thing for tragedy since it easily inspired
me and basically I don't know what's wrong with my mind and its fascination toward sad ending hahaha ;P

Oh well, the play's good and I enjoyed it very well, well done, crews! Do it better next time! Improve Improve!
Encore encore!! ^^

20th Poem: Wind (A 5-mins Poem Challenge)

2007-08-21T10:13:00.000+07:00

Wind

What is it?
When does it blow?
Where does it flow?

How to capture it
Whom it carries
Who owns it?

To be free of why.

~End~
(Dedicated to my friend, Aaron)

***

Okay another poem spams hehehe ;P this poem is actually a bit late in writing since it is supposed to be written together with the other pieces that I've written during my trip with my friends together. However oh well I got no time thus I write it today hehehe ;P Anyway, it's a poem and well actually he, my friend, does like the wind that I describe so all is well isn't it? Happy reading!

19th Poem: Spoon (A 5-Mins Challenge)

2007-08-21T09:56:00.000+07:00

Spoon

Elegant curves,
sleek shapes,
smooth planes

Enticing,
alluring

Caressing lips
Velvet upon metal,
fleshly red on shiny silver

~Ende~
(Dedicated to my friend, Hanna)

***

Okay I think today I'm spamming my own bloggie here ;P Haha this is another poem that I wrote during my trip with my friends. This poem challange was made during our breakfast in the hotel and while we were eating, specifically that I was eating my omellete ;P and she said she wanted a poem prompted by a spoon, the spoon that she was using. Yet what inspired me was when she had a spoon of something that I don't remember and practically I was enticed! Thus, viola! A poem that depicts that scene! Hehehe, happy reading! ;P

18th Poem: Tea vers.2 (A 5-Mins Challange)

2007-08-21T09:46:00.000+07:00

Tea

A plain bitter taste
A sugared sweet tang
A honeyed bittersweet
A flowerly fragrant smell
A stroke to the three
A time for a tea

~Le Fin~

***

This is actually the first try upon the Tea prompt challange...and it turned out not too good thus I wrote another version. However, I do feel it's a pity just to delete this poem so why not publish this? Well whoever read this and like it, please do drop by and comment! Hehehe ;P happy reading!

17th Poem: Tea (A 5-Mins Poem Challenge)

2007-08-21T09:31:00.000+07:00

Tea

Sitting upon the window's sill
Sipping on a white ceramic mug
Air is silent as time seems still
A tranquility

Tasting the bitterly pleasure
Savoring the serene fragrant
While voice is quiet but sound
A peace

upon a cup of morning tea

~End~
(dedicated to my friend, Michael)

***

Hohoho...another 5 minutes poem challange that I made during my trip together with my friends ;P Actually this piece was made when I'm still lazying around on the bed underneath the thick quilt and I even hadn't wore my glasses so all was blurry. Thus it did create an illusion while I saw on him, my friend, Michael. He seemed so serene and peace. Hence it drive me to write this piece...I hope this poem does reflect on that peaceful scene that I've seen and trying to capture that scene! Oh well, enough blabbering, happy reading!

16th Poem: Happy Birthday!

2007-06-26T16:06:00.000+07:00

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Another year flies away
Another year comes by

Days passed
Months lapsed

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Presents and gifts
In colours and ribbons

Greets and salutes
Joyously heart-warming

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Cakes and candles
Deliciously sparkling

Breathes held
Wishes wished

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Merry shouts apploud
Jolly toasts cheer

Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me

Gifts
Cakes
Candles
Wishes
and I...

Alone

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me!

`Ende'
(dedicated to those whose birthday at June, 26th and those who have birthdays)

***
Happy birthday to me! It's June, 26th at last! Hehehe...I know it's a bit sad...but relax, I'm having a great day today! It's just I want to see something from a different side of view so here we have...Happy reading!

15th Poem: A Hunting Game

2007-06-15T14:55:00.000+07:00

A Hunting Game

Run!
Run! Run!
Run! Run! Run!

Ssshh...come here, prey...

Run!

The steps! My feet..
The huffs! My breathes...
The clacks! My teeth...
The beats! My heart...

Ssshh...be quiet, prey...quiet...

No! Run! No!

Along the mazes of aisles
Short suffocating gasps
Tense high strung nerves
Fast adrenalin pumped heart

Ssshh...prey, ssshh...I’ll come...

No!
Don’t!
Stop!
Please!

I’ll come...to you...
Steps I can hear
Breathes I can taste
Quakes I can savour
Pulses I can feel

No!

Droplets of fear
Trails of anguish
Crumbs of dread
Morsels of horror
I’ll come...come to you

Don’t!

Scamper, prey
Scuffle, prey
Quiver, prey
Pray, prey
For I’ll come to you

Stop!

Come to me, my prey...
Let me listen your ballad of pleas
Let me lick you fright of your face
Let me relish your wine of blood
Let me caress your palpitating heart

Please!

Scamper, prey, but your pleas enchants me
Scuffle, prey, but your fright entices me
Quiver, prey, but your blood enthrals me
Pray, prey but your throbs arouses me
Come, prey, but you are in my clutches

Come, prey...

No!
Don’t!
Stop!
Please...

Come then, prey, come
To me
Me, my prey...

No...don’t...please...stop...no...
No.

Come.

~Le Fin~
(Dedicated to all preys and all hunters also those who are afraid)

***
Okay sorry for the long hiatus...it's just I'm not that much inspired this recently and not to mention I'm kinda busy to even sit and think. Hahahaha yeah I'm that busy. Not to mention there are major changes in my life...like I was dumped or something and yadda yadda yadda...

Anyway, this poem is unique I might say tho' it's very usual of me to write such morbid poems but this poem's inspired when I'm listening to my physchiatric lecture about mental disorders. Then I start to wonder about the mind of a physchopath. Not a nice thing to be imagining of but yeah it bugs my head quite some time thus, taa-daa~aa...this poem's born! Well written anyway.

Hmm...not so sure tho' if this is phycho enough so well, please do just enjoy reading it! Happy reading!

14th Poem: Window (5-Mins Poem Challange)

2007-02-22T11:17:00.000+07:00

Window

What do you seek?
A window locked and barred
Without a key you can't open
Without a saw you can't enter

A key you may hold but enter you can't
A saw you may cut but open you can't

A window glassed and sealed
Open you can't but look
Enter you can't but touch
Because once broke it won't be one

Naked and bare
Shattered and wrecked
Cold and dead

blown into pieces admist the wind

A window no more
A heart no more
As neither is a window nor a heart

~End~

***

Well another poem challange at another fast food joint hahahaha ;P As you can see the theme for this time's challange is window and the rules are the same, write about it then discuss. I like this poem because it's quite morbid and well my friends told me that this poem reflects about myself and my life including my choices. A bit lame I mean my life but oh well kinda proud of it...shouldn't have been huh?

Enough of my blabberring! happy reading!

13th Poem: Sky (A 5-Mins Challenge Poem)

2007-01-29T18:39:00.000+07:00

Sky

A blue wide expanse
with gray streak lining
bound by the horizon
kissed by the ocean

Puffy white clouds adore you
while the sun claims upon you
Thunderous black clouds roar on you
as the lightning flashes upon your flesh

Gentle and calm
Raw and wild
Such is your nature
Yet who we are to predict
as surely we are to extinct

~End~

***

Okay quite lame... ^^;; hahaha since this is made under five minutes in a fast food restaurant even! *laughs* but either way it's quite nice and I do like the last two rows. They make this poem become so much more meaningful. Actually the challenge prompt is sky-themed in order to see how one view upon sky thus this is my vision...a bit influenced by how the weather is now tho' as it often goes sunny then raining then sunny again, on anf off over and over...Well, enough drabbling..hope you guys enjoy it!

Happy reading!

12th Poem: Sex of Nature (RainxEarth)

2006-09-11T13:29:00.000+07:00

Sex of Nature

The chilling breeze, the swaying branches of tree
It is their signs, it is their foreplay
Teasing each other, alluring each other
Anticipating the soft caresses, waiting for the gentle touches
For the Earth is patient yet eager
Yet the Rain is frantically hasty

Minutes reduced to seconds
The foreplay stretches longer, erotic moans thunder around
The Rain is impatient yet the Earth is a mere tease
There are only seconds left
Ticking too slow for the Rain and wait no longer he can

The first drop, first trickle, first dribble
down onto the hungry mouth of the Earth
The Earth hums in relieve, smiles as he feels the very first touch of his lover for a so long
The excited hums are never escaped by the Rain's appeal
The quiet accepting rumble of his lover only fuels his zealous
His nerves are tingling, sending shivers down to his spine,
shocking his already strained nerves, sending jolts and jolts of pleasure
He again groans for more, he moans of his hunger,
and so he falls, down to the waiting hands of his lover

The Earth is patient as he always for centuries
Even if he is fervid for the soft caresses and the gentle touches of his lover
The flashes of his lover's pleasure jolts do nothing but incite his lust even more
The lust, the desire, the passion once again stirs beneath his calm surface
He yearns for more, more and more of his lover
He craves of his lover to appease his hunger, his thirst
The soil shakes under his tension, waiting to be relieved
Thus when his lover falls, he quickly catches him

It is a bliss, a peace when his energetic lover is in his embrace
He lets his lover to shower him with all the love he has
He simply loves the attention as he calmly lets his lover undoes him
Waves of ecstasy, jolts of pleasure, mingle together as the lust is thick in the air
The scent of their love, of their intense sex play lingers in the air
Coaxing them into further and wilder acts

The pace becomes faster and faster, their limbs entangle each other
Their kisses become fervent, their hands grab each other vigorously
Ripples of rapture escalates in folds, the thrill sings on their nerves
Their touches become more anxious, their lips cling even more desperately
Need not the air they are, as they are in ardent now,
The climax, the tantric orgasm of their love is way ahead

With loud groan and long moan the Rain wails into the air
The jolts of ultimate ecstasy reach their peaks as another blindingly bright lightning flash into the air
The Earth smiles in satisfaction of his lover's pinnacle as he soon climaxes too
He arches upward, thrust more into his lover before the low and quiet moan torn of his lips as the violent climax rakes over his body

The Rain pants over his exertion and relaxes after his breath-taking orgasm
He falls toward his lover's embrace once again, letting his fingers caress his lover's back idly while basking upon his lover's warmth
The Earth hugs his beloved loosely as he trails his lazy fingers on soothing his lover's tingling nerves, as he breathes in more of the air
They both are now content, surrendering themselves into a rare moment of tranquility together
The quiet humming of the Earth along with the gentle caresses of the Rain

Reveling themselves of their closeness and their warmth
Savouring the short moment quiet moment of intimacy
Before they are forced to part as the mighty sun shines
Before their farewells come and they are to be separated again
Yet it has not come and still they are together

Minutes and seconds are to be savoured
Caresses and lazy kisses are to be treasured
So may they survive of their hungers
So may they last of their thirsts
Until another chance comes
Until another day comes
And so until then they keep their hopes.

~End~

***

Okay that's another quickie, inspired from my friend whines of another rainy day (actually not a rainy one, it rains then stops, then rains again then stops again, and keeps repeating the cycle).
In addition, it seems my mind can't stop to think about the way of sex and my hands are itching to write something of sex so here it is! Hope you guys enjoy reading it.

Happy reading!

11th Poem: Saying Goodbye

2006-07-31T16:24:00.000+07:00

Saying Goodbye

Here we are, together
bonded by thread of fate
as our paths crossed
We walk and laugh
We run and smile
Together as friends

However,
The clock is ticking away
as we carve memories
There is so much in so little time
yet there is too little in much time

It is fate who brought us
and it is fate too that
we say our goodbyes
as the wheel of time starts to spin
when it is time to set our sails

For the journey is not ended
as the roads are still very long ahead
I wish fate will be kind
Even if the tomorrows are unknown
So again we shall walk together...
as friends.

Sincerely, truly yours,
with much love and many hugs,

Agnes Gratia

***

The poem is dedicated to all my new friends during 2006 AMSC Hongkong, especially my group, Group 18,
- Hilson, the GM of Group 18 (a fun and good-natured guy) --> one to be bullied
- Eric, the GM of Group 18 (an adventureous and daring guy) --> one to be teased
- Coral, the GM of Group 18 (a sweet and cute girl) --> also one to be teased
- Yennie, the GM of Group 18 (a matured and caring girl) --> another one to be teased too
- Jacky (Cambodian delegate, a matured guy)
- Ayu (Indonesian delegate, a fun and adventurous girl) --> very energetic and highly flameable (sorry for the lack of any suitable words ^^;;; )
- Sherla (Indonesian delegate, a nice girl)
- Hiroki (Japanese delegate, a nice, cute and fun guy) --> super duper cute guy! My subject of interes and major attraction of mine!
- Sunny (Korean delegate, a sweet, elegant and nice girl) --> very elegant in her han-book clothe!
- Madison (Korean delegate, a quiet, nice and beautifuly simple girl) --> really really beautifully simple girl and my roommate too!
- Qiu Ing (Malaysian delegate, a nice, beautiful and caring girl)
- Michael (Malaysian delegate, a fun and good guy)
- Madi (Malaysian delegate, a fun, cool and kind guy)
- Ellery (Taiwan delegate, a magician)
- Iris (Taiwan delegate, a beautiful girl)
- Stacey (Taiwan delegate, a silent girl)
- Jeremy (Taiwan delegate, a fun guy)
- Fang (Thailand delegate, a cute and fun girl)
- Kevin (Thailand delegate, a kind, cute and good-looking guy)

Also for my friends outside of Group 18 and are specially mentioned,
- Scott, the GM of Group 17 (a fun and kind guy) --> one to be teased too
- Clearence, the GM of Group 17 (a daring and adventurous guy)
- Daiichi (Japanese delegate, Group 13, a humorous, caring and kind guy) --> The BL (boy's love) partner of Hiroki, best friend of Hiroki too!
- Kei (Japanese delegate, Group 17, a funny, cute and good-looking guy) --> another cutie pie!
- Hisayo (Japanese delegate, Group 17, a sweet, fun, nice and super-cute-voiced girl) --> super duper cutie pie too!
- Kiet Soeng (Malaysian delegate, a fun and kind guy)

Well I think these will be all of them and those who are not mentioned well I hope you don't mind because you guys are also special too! ^^

10th Poem: Lament of The Moth

2006-01-21T11:28:00.000+07:00

Lament of The Moth

My dear lil sis...
Pity for they're not butterflies
but they're moths...
Mere moths who fly to the flame
attracted by its heat
while being blinded by its light...

[Aniki...?]

My dear lil sis...
They're oh so foolish...
Sacrificing the fragile wings
in the cost of enchanted minutes
Burning away the freedom
just for addicting seconds...

Yet...you know my dear lil sis?

[Aniki...]

I'm just like them,
drawn to you likewise
moths drawn to the fire
Coz you're my only light
in this darkness of mine

[Aniki...?]

Your smile is my light
in the depth of my dark soul
Your laughter is music to my ear
in the still silent heart of mine
Your presence lights my whole life
which is shunned my most

[...]

My dear lil sis...
It is a sin, I know
For me to love you so
Yet the sin's too sweet,
intoxicating and addicting,
enticing me to no end

[Aniki]

So like moths even are burnt by flame
yet still fly toward it willingly,
Let me love you and caress you
Even if I will be damned and killed
Let me taste those heady,
intoxicating minutes and hours
Just to be together with you

[Dakara...]

Stay beside me...please...?
Hold me like you used to
Save me from my own madness
Yet save me not from my heart,
heart which belongs only to you

~End~
(Poem's dedicated to characters of Tenjou Tenge, I don't know whom but it's the main female protagonist and her older brother)

******
This poem is quite old already, I think it's rotten already in my drawer, anyway hope you enjoy it. Happy reading!

PS: I don't watch that anime, Tenjou Tenge, I just caught few glimpses as my bro watched it, so I may catch the whole meaning incorrectly and they are all OOC. Oh but anyway, it's quite good like this, even if they are not like what I am picturing up there, just think that they are. Hahaha ;P

9th Poem: A Gift for Dearest Friend

2006-01-21T10:57:00.000+07:00

A Gift for Dearest Friend

Ever wonder what I'm thinking?

Hot as the blazing sun,
I think of your sunny smile
Cold as the coming night,
I think of your serene face
Blue as the clear sky,
I think of your gentle heart
Bright as the twinkling stars,
I think of your sparkling eyes
Trickling as the falling rain,
I think of your joyous laughter

Thinking of you, my friend...
You wonder what I wish for,
yet not knowing that I wish for you

And here you are, beside me...

Ever wonder what I'm wishing for?
I wish for a rainbow upon the sky

A box of gift
to capture it
to warp it
to you...a rainbow in a box
For you and only you, my dearest friend

~End~
(Poem's dedicated to all my friends scattered around the world and especially Fel-chan and Pu-chan)

******
Another poem, hope you guys aren't bored yet hahaha ;P this poem is inspired by a book I just bought which has a picture of a prettily drawn rainbow and a cute little box wrapped in ribbon. It just comes and starts to dig on my mind so here we have! A poem! Happy reading!

8th Poem: A Vow in Death (2nd Version)

2006-01-21T10:32:00.001+07:00

A Vow In Death

Here on your cold lips I kiss you,
Lips as cold as ice, pale as the moon,
with your warmth ebbs away from you
Still I kiss you so...lips on lips,
Warm as I am and cold as you are,
slowly and gently, passionately and deeply
Coz we have all the time in the world,
married we are now, you as my bride
and me as your forever groom
In this cold, windless night,
no moon, no stars, no one but corpses,
just you and I in this sacred time,
as our souls intertwine together...forever...
yours who dies in my arms,
mine who dies in your heart,
together we will be...forever,
'til fate does separate us

~End~
(Poem's dedicated to my original characters, Irvyan and Levand also to Manua and Kennes of "Four Daughters of Armian")

******
Ooo~~ookay this is the second version of that poem, I dunno why I write it, but oh well the style's different tho' overall the words are similar, I dunno which is better but hope you guys enjoy it! Happy reading!

Oh about the original characters, they are mine but sadfully I don't have any time to write the story completely, it's a bout a warring kingdoms where the two brothers, Irvyan and Levand, who share the same father yet not the same mother, are in love with each other. Yet Levand is burned by his revenge toward his own father and Irvyan's kinda caught in the middle since he is on his own kingdom (his father's) side while his brother is on the opposite side. Then the ending is that Irvyan dies from protecting his love and Levand then commits a suicide to follow his love, that will be the end of the war.

A bit tragic and so foolish for a love story -___-;;; Oh well that time I'm just inspired by this idea and well...not bad hahaha ;P

7th Poem: A Vow in Death

2006-01-21T08:48:00.001+07:00

A Vow in Death

Here upon your cold lips as cold as ice,
with your warmth ebbs away from your body,
I kiss you lips on lips,
warm and cold, slowly and gently

For we have all the time in the world,
since married we are now, my bride
So let us cherish this very night,
an end to our long waiting days

For at last we are not two but one,
can't be separated even by death,
So let them mourn upon our union,
yet I shan't be apart from you, my dearest bride

In this cold, windless night,
no moon, no stars, no one
just the two of us alone, kissing together,
you who die in my arms and I who die in your heart
and together we are husband and wife
'til fate and time do part us apart

~End~
(Poem's dedicated to my own original characters, Irvyan and Levand and to Manua and Kennes of "Four Daughters of Armian")

******
Okay, first poem for the new year! Hehehe ;P anyway, I know it's a bit depressing for the new year but hope you guys enjoy it! Happy reading!

6th Poem: Summer Scent Memories

2005-11-30T20:32:00.000+07:00

Summer Scent Memories

Blazing sun
Tingling chimes
Gentle breeze
Scorching heat

I lay here on the sand,
without any shelters,
bare-chested,
alone...

Summers come and go

Yet never it changes
Never changes...not now,
Not in my memories

The heat is always hot, burning my skin,
Melting my popsicle, leaving me crave for more
The sound of waves rushing each other
Soothing my dull senses, luring me for a peaceful nap
The wind's cool and gentle, caressing my nerves,
Chasing away the heat, cooling my over-heated mind
The sound of chimes, tingling around my ears
Carried by wind, whistling a tune in the harsh torridity

When will it end?
These hot summer days, these nightmarish days
The season of remembrance, when memories are vividly seen and beheld

The screeching sound, the bustling crowds, the grief mourning,
The drizzling rain, the trailing hot tears, the suffocating heat,
Then...the deafening silence and numbing stillness
Chapter by chapter comes alive and re-played
Mocking me, taunting me and tormenting me
The part of me who is merely a child.

So I run and always run
Until I'm exhausted and tired
Hence I do nothing but sit and wait
Enduring the terrors, bearing the cruel memoir

Of him and of you, a father and a friend
Perished and vanished before my eyes
Leaving me alone and always alone
No replies nor answers nor anything
Just silence...deadened serenity...

Yet, still I am here,
with the melting popsicle,
with the ghosts of past,
with the searing heat,
Still I am here waiting patiently

For someone to wake me up from this dream
For someone to save me from my own reality
For this scorching heat to be cooled away by the rains
For this summer days to end before I melt coz of its heat

~End~

(Poem's dedicated to Tachibana Akane of I'll Generation Basket by Hiroyuki Asada)

*******************

Okay this is another dedication poem I've written and posted here ^^ anyway this manga has been my favorite lately (well...besides the yaoi manga of course) and yes, Tachibana Akane is the protagonist and the main character here along with his basketball partner, Hiragi Hitonari. Akane is one cool person ^^ I like his personality a lot and viola! A poem for him!

Though the poem is dark and angsty but actually the guy, Akane is not that dark. He is loud, quite arrogant and of course is very skillful in basketball. He lost his father when he was a kid and few years ahead in summer, he lost his best friend, Takayanagi Gaku (I don't know when but I speculate it's around summer too). This is based on the short side-chapter in which this side of Akane is exposed and of course his reaction is not as dark as this poem (which is basically based on Akane sad summer scenes).

So in short, this poem contains OOC-ed Akane (I don't know for sure tho' what he is thinking about those losses) and well...this is only speculation and I don't own Tachibana Akane nor the manga. I only own the poem.

Okay, enough of that incessant rambles, right on to the poem! Happy reading!

PS: I don't guarantee all of you guys will understadn the poem if you guys don't at least know about the manga or the character.

5th Poem: Thirsty of Love

2005-11-25T18:25:00.000+07:00

Thirsty of Love

Call me, lovers
Call my name
Mine and not hers...

For dead she has been yet here I am competing against her
Memories and memories keep unfolding and surfacing,
Chaining all of us until we are choked, suffocated and desperate
Yet in layers of yearning and longing, I come to love you
I move onward to love you and not her...

Am I wrong not to love her anymore?
Am I wrong to crave you as mine?
Am I sinful to love you inspite her?
Am I loathed by my own heart's betrayal?

Tell me, lovers...tell me why am I hurting?
Is is because of my love to her or because of my love to you?

Tell me again, lovers...why I suffer such agony?
Is the throbbing pain because of my heartache,
Or because of my jealousy toward her,
Or perhaps because I envy her for owning your hearts?

I feel like crying, for my angst, betrayal and love,
Tormented by her lingering presence upon me
Taunted by my heart of betraying my love for her
Tortured by my love for you, my lovers...

Tell me lovers,
Why I seem to hate her, she who once I hold dear, she who once I treasure...

Tell me again lovers...
Who do you behold in your orgasms, lovers?
Black silky short strands or lengthy honey brown?
Who do you see while you thrust deep into me?
Who do you grasp in the peak of ecstasy, lovers?
Supple soft small breats or solid lithe flat chest?
Who do you touch while you ravish my lips, my mouth?

Me? ...Or her?

I am losing now...
Who am I anymore?
Am I she? Is she me?
Am I just a mere substitute?
Should I be 'her' and not 'me'?

I don't know...I don't know anymore
All I know is that we are all trapped
Ensnared in a web of deception called 'love'
Round and round, repeating and recurring,
Again and again, without any senses of direction...over and over...until we all drop dead...

~End~
(Poem's dedicated to Nakano Orie of Be Thirsty of Love BL Manga by Yukine Honami and Satosumi Takaguchi)

*************************************

Ok that's the newest poem of mine and as you can see it's inspired by another story of yaoi manga. The rating is not that high, I mean the manga, it has no explicit sex scene but yeah it has both hentai and yaoi sex scene. Actually, the ending of the manga, is not as what I have depicted up there. Instead of falling in love to those guys, Nakano Orie is well...not really fallen for them. Basically, the manga ends even before Nakano can sort out his feeling toward the other two guys. They just lessening the pain of losing their shared girlfriend by sleeping with each other. So in other word, this poem is an AU scene out from that manga err...so please don't sue me ok? ^^;;;

Anyway, it's a threesome yaoi sex and funny thing is that those three guys, Nakano Orie, Kuwabara Tatsumi and Soenobu Suguru fall for the same girl, Sarai Yuka who has a terminal illness, bone marrow acute leukemia. Thus realizing her fate, the girl then starts to live without regret and go out with as many as males that capture her interest. It's quite like polygamy and those males are all unaware except Tatsumi who is as playboy. But sure does fate is funny, those three guys fall in love to that girl in their own way and somehow near the girl's death and sudden disappearance, they then know that they have shared their girlfriend. Thus the manga unrolls the story of how those guys coping with their girlfriend's death. It's a serious love relationship where three of them are all depressed (and to think they are all just high school students so serious? O.o!!!) they then tries to endure the loss with going on with their lives and when things become unbearable they screw each other.

All in all it's good, and it's just me who think they're all foolish including the girl who just deceiving the guys so easily and so selfishly reason herself out by uisng her illness...not a good excuse.

Anyway...it's done and I do fond of Nakano Orie ^^;;; he's well I think the hmm...the most balanced? Oh well he does take care of the other two guys.

But aside from all of that, just read it and enjoy!

4th Poem: A Warning!

2005-11-20T18:54:00.000+07:00

A Warning!

Hey, Mister!
You got a pass on you?
You're 'bout entering the hell's gate!

Hey, Mister!
Come on in! Join us and enjoy!
Stay around and dive in!

Hey, Mister!
Don't be shy! Feel the spark!
Let the lust embroider you!

Hey, Mister!
Money's not a matter! But libido is!
Feel free on once! Pay for twice or thrice!

Come, Mister...
Taste the nectarous forbidden fruit
Come, come, relieve your aches

Come, Mister...
Savor the sinfully sweet ambrosia
Come, come, forget your agony

Come, Mister...
Relish the heady addicting ecstasy
Come, come, satiate your hunger

Don't hesitate, Mister
Let the orgasm sweep you inside out
Feel the blissful spasm upon your flesh
Liberate your consicence, controls and senses
Come...come and come, ejaculate your essence

Mister,
The bait shall lure you here,
Sell your soul and mind to us,
Hence we'd feast upon them

Mister, fall you shall and rejoice we shall...

Hey!
Mister!
Wanna a come?

~End~

****************************

Ok, that's my fourth poem and well...hope you guys enjoy it ^^ It's err...vulgar? Erotic? I dunno but personally I think it's not that vulgar nor erotic just a bit implied ^^;;;

The word "come" is actually a pun here ;P it's meaning can be translated as the actual meaning or another meaning that is related to sex activity ;P The setting...I think it's in a brothel or at a brothel.

It is inspired when I was in a class and suddenly my innocent friend asked me about hentai stuffs. I did say to my friend that he/she is about entering the hell's gate and we both laughed.

Anyway, it's done and well...I'm quite satisfied about this poem as it's been a long time since I made the last sex-centered poem. Happy reading!

3rd Poem: Insomnia (2nd version)

2005-09-21T17:21:00.000+07:00

Insomnia

In darkness I'm awake,
aware of every each thing,
the haunting voices of clock,
the creaky sounds of hinges.

In silence I'm restless,
wary of whole lot motions,
the eerie eyes of ceiling,
the predatory monstrous gaze.

I wait wide awake...
'til slumber comes,
I wait wide awake...
'til sleep comes,
I wait...

Along with the swinging pendulum,
Together with the shuffling feet,
Accompanied by the rustling sheet,
Side by side with the closet's monsters.

The fairies laugh over my dream,
The clocks mock around my hearing,
The walls ridicule upon my sight,
The shadows taunt my sanity.

Around my ears I hear the ghosting tick-tocks!
Behind my eye lids I see the glinting evil eyes!
Beneath my blanket I feel the creepy cold shivers!
Above my bed I sense the invisible night's terrors!

Yet...still I am waiting
'til slumber sweeps me away,
Away from those fears...
Safe from those ghosts...

So...I wait...wait...'til I sleep

~End~

************************

Okie, this is the second version of Insomnia. Why? Because simply I'm still inspired and...well, one of my friends said that the 1st version has no feeling inside it so I re-write it again and taa~~aa--da! Here you go!

Personally I prefer this version to 1st version since the fear of unable to sleep is more vividly described and I like some words that I've chosen to use, they suits the feeling of being afraid, like a child left alone in his bedroom but was still wide awake past his bedtime and started to become paranoid or overly-sensitive of his surrounding. I like describing this kind of fear...childlike but it's there...a beautiful fear...a fear that can be felt by children I think (since I'm now not afraid anymore and I think since little I never had this kind of fear)

Anyway, happy reading!

2nd Poem: Insomnia

2005-09-21T02:59:00.000+07:00

Insomnia

The ticking clock,
The rustling sheet,
The whiffing breath,
The deafening stillness

Listening to sounds,
Eavesdropping on them,
Snooping around them,
Hearkening to voices

Silently...quietly...

Awake I am still, even in my dream...
Counting on sheep, thousands and hundreds
Concious I am, even in false tranquility...
Counting each second, ticking while passing by

I dream of sleeping, yet...
Slumber is across the ocean
And still I am here ashore
Looking of it, longing for it...

Row me across, dear lullaby...
Lull me to my dream land
Float me away, dear fatigue...
Lure me to my peaceful sleep

Calmly...serenely...

Listening to the ticking clock,
Eavesdropping on the rustling sheet
Snooping around the whiffing breath
Hearkening to deafening silence...

Waiting,
waiting for my dream...
my sleep...

~End~

************************

Insomnia = n. habitual sleeplessness; inability to sleep

Poem's inspired when I was in a car and was waiting for my sleep but still the sleep didn't come to me. Therefore here it is, the result of my wandering restlessly brain. Hope you guys enjoy it!

Poem's dedicated to all people out there with similar brain's problem ^^

Poem Series from "Through The Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There" by Lewis Carroll Part 2

2005-09-13T16:22:00.000+07:00

Jabberwocky

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome rathes outgrabe.

'Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!'

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two!! One, two!! And through and through,
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

'And has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Calloh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

****************

Oooo~~ook...this poem is very confunsing to the least >.< I don't really understand it too but I think this is quite a good poem because of the rhyme. Even tho' I think some of the words are butchered in order to create the same rhyme. But then again I'm not the expert nor the poet himself so I don't really know. As usual the translation will be given too for you guys' sake and for my sake too -___-;;;

By the way, there are few people out there who complain to me that they can't seem to understand the 1st poem published (and mostl likely this one too). Honestly, I'm not a poem expert like I've said but then again if you guys want and **IF** I have **TIME**, I'll post some entries explaining my view on those poems. I hope this will help you guys ^^
Happy reading, enjoy the poem's rhyme!

Translations are taken from The Oxford Dictionary and Thesaurus and words that are starred mean that the translation are not taken from the dictionary but I search for it online.
Jabberwocky = n. nonsense (I think it comes from the word 'jabber')
Jabber = v. & n. chatter volubly and incoherently, babble, yammer, gibber
Twas = archaic it was
*Brillig = n. four o'clock in the afternoon: the time when you begin broiling things for dinner
*Slithy = n. combination of "lithe" and "slimy".
*Toves = n. a combination of a badger, a lizard, and a cockscrew They are very curious looking creatures which make their nests under sundials. They live on cheese.
Gyre = n. & v. poet. v.intr. whirl or gyrate, go in circle or spiral, rotate
*Gimble = v. to make holes like a gimlet.
*Wabe = n. the grass plot around a sundial. It is called a "wabe" because it goes a long way before it, and a long way behind it, and a long way beyond it on each side.
*Mimsy = adj. combination of "flimsy" and "miserable".
*Borogoves = n. a thin shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round, something like a live mop.
*Mome = adj. (possibly) short for "from home", meaning that the raths had lost their way.
*Raths = n. a sort of green pig.
*Outgrabe = v. something between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle.
*Jujub = n. a desperate bird that lives in perpetual passion. (From The Hunting of The Shark.)
Shun = v. & n. v.intr. avoid, keep clear of something/someone
*Frumious = adj. combination of "fuming" and "furious". (From the Preface to The Hunting of The Shark.)
*Bandersnatch = n. a swift moving creature with snapping jaws. Capable of extending its neck. (From The Hunting of The Shark.)
*Vorpal = adj. sharp
Manxome = ???
Foe = n. enemy
Sought = v. past form of seek
Tumtum = ???
Uffish = ???
Whiffling = v.intr. blow slightly, make the sound of a light wind in breathing
Tulgey = ???
*Burbled = v. bubbled or babbled
Snicker-snack = ???
Galumphing = ???
Frabjous = ???
Calloh = ???
Callay = ???
Chortled = v.intr. & n. chuckle gleefully

Poem Series from "Through The Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There" by Lewis Carroll Part 1

2005-09-10T21:22:00.000+07:00

The Prologue of A Fairy Tale

Child of the pure unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a life asunder;
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy-tale

I have not seen thy sunny face,
Nor heard thy silver laughter:
No thought of me shall find a place
In thy young life's hereafter-
Enough that now thou wilt not fail
To listen to my fairy-tale

A tale begun in other days,
When summer suns were glowing-
A simple chime, that serve to time
The rhythm of our rowing-
Whose echoes live in memory yet,
Though envious years would say "forget"

Come, hearken, ere voice of dread,
With bitter tidings laden,
Shall summon to unwelcome bed
A melancholy maiden!
We are but older children, dear
Who fret to find our bedtime near

Without, the frost, the blinding snow,
The storm-wind's moody madness-
Within, the firelight's ruddy glow,
And childhood's nest of gladness.
The magic words shall hold the fast:
Though shalt not heed the raving blast.
And, though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story,

For "happy summer glory-
It shalt not touch, with breath of bale,
The pleasance of our fairy-tale.

**********
Actually, this poem is not mine, it belongs to Lewis Carroll and can be found in his book entitled "Through The Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There". This poem originally has no title so the title up there is my own set up. I hope the author won't mind it.
Anyway, the poem mostly uses archaic words like "hearken", "thou", "thy", "shalt", "ere" etc etc which really emphasizing the british accent (in my opinion tho' and mind you I'm not a poet or poem expert, just a random girl) and perhaps for some people, who aren't familiar to these words, would find this poem to a little hard to be understood so well...I'll help to translate few of the words which I think is seldom to be used nowadays. Hope this'll help you guys to enjoy and understand this poem.
Futhermore, this poem is only one of few poems in the book. I'm planning to write all the poems in the book to share it with you guys (actually these last few days I haven't been inspired enough yet to be able to write my own poem so for intermezzo I'll publish other people's poems which I think are cool)
Lastly, please enjoy the poem and look forward for the other poems under this series =)

Translations are taken from The Oxford Dictionary and Thesaurus:
Fleet = v.intr.archaic glide away; vanish
Thou = pron. you
Asunder = adv.literary. apart
Thy = poss.pron. your
Hail = int.archaic or rhet. expressing greeting
Wilt = var. archaic will
Hearken = v.intr. archaic or literary listen (to)
Ere = prep. & conj. poet or archaic before (of time)
Laden = tr.adj. heavily burdened by sin, sorrow, etc
Ruddy = Brit.colloq. rosy, bloody
Shalt = var. archaic shall
Bale = n.archaic or poet. evil, destruction, woe, pain, misery

1st Poem: Murder.Love.Death

2005-09-06T18:18:00.000+07:00

Murder.Love.Death

Loathing you so much,
wishing I can kill you...now

Stab you, I will...stealthly
Slaughter you, I will...viciously

Hence,
Let the maggots crawl and rot upon your flesh
Let the ravens fly and feed upon your corpse
Let the worms creep and slither upon your skin
Let the ravages stroll and savage upon your carcass

Pray, you should so may mercy be upon you
Beg, you shouldn't for I lusts on your pleas
Scream, you should so may luck be upon you
Cry, you shouldn't for I craves on your tears

Despising you so long,
longing for slaying you...now

Run...run...
Seeking you, I shalt
Hide..hide...
Hunting you, I shalt

Slice you, I will...fiercely
Kill you, I will...slowly

So I shalt laugh in joy for your grave
So I shalt praise in bliss for your loss
So I shalt sing in merry for your ruin
So I shalt exalt in delight for your death

Thus,
Run...run... my prey
Hide...hide...my love

Yet,
come I shalt...

~End
(dedicated to all people who hates)
******************

Poem's inspired by my own hatred toward something and upon my urge to kill something ;P
Actually me's still not satisfied by how the poem turns out to be...but oh well just enjoy it then

PS: this poem is mine so don't steal it! Ask my permission if you want to use it somewhere else. Or else I'll kill you.

Introduction

2005-09-05T15:31:00.001+07:00

Name: gratia
Pen-name: Eriol-sama, Gackt-sama, Irvyan, Rhainez, gratian, Fl, vanilla_de_gackt, str4ng3_g1rl, etc etc
Date of Birth: June, 26th
Age: older than 17
Zodiac: Cancer (69)
Address: somewhere on the earth obviously
Occupation: still a broke student
Hobbies: writing yaoi stories/love letter/poem/song lyric/etc etc, reading yaoi manga, playing PS2, window shopping, driving on highway
Favorite item collections: necklaces, earrings, dictionaries, postcards, letter papers + envelope, gift wrappings, mangas (preferably yaoi), etc etc
Favorite colors: red, black, blue, silver, pastel colors, violet/purple, basically all colors
Interests: art history, photography, poem, language literature, social science, physchology
Fetishes: foot/leg, leather, fingers, long-hair, beautiful males/females, adrogynous person, cutey children esp.boys, etc etc
About me: I'm me...quite a freak, an unique person I think
Reasons creating a blog: just want to...no other significant reasoning tho'
Blog'll be about: dunno...random thingie perhaps, poems, lyrics, etc etc
Blog's update: depends on me...can be daily, weekly, monthly, annually, or every century
More about me: well you can know once you view my blog =)